


Entrolouge

by Rigil_Kentauris



Series: its not the first time ive saved The Valley from the lords [1]
Category: Deus Ex (2000)
Genre: Experimental, Gen, i mean like VERY MUCH SO
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 07:05:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16403621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rigil_Kentauris/pseuds/Rigil_Kentauris
Summary: It's not the first time I've had to contemplate the end of existence.





	Entrolouge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rigil_Kentauris](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rigil_Kentauris/gifts).



> 1: this is an experiment of mine about a thought i had about something unrelated so IM SO SORRY. this iss. more for me than anything. but you are welvome to come abord  
>  ~~hey rigil are you ever going to write anything with this guy in it thats not a) weird and b)unintelligble > cause im. im really startin' to press X over here~~

Sometimes I want to scream.

This is not the first understanding that we the people have had about our collective situation. I’m not the first person to understand that this is all over, before it’s started. I’m not the first person to look out at the sky and think:

> Oh _fuck.  
> _ It’s _dark_ out there.

Sometimes, though, I feel like I have to scream to get it through their heads.

Wake the fuck up. _You’re_ not sleeping. _I_ am.

 

They look at me with dull eyes, expecting me to have a reaction. As if I didn’t suspect. Didn’t know what this world was – is. Didn’t know. Never knew.

I pretend. It’s what I do. _Dear god,_ I say. _How could they?_

But in my head im screaming:

Shut up, and let me sink.

 

One time I lied, just to see if I could. If I could make it stick.

If I could stick the landing.

 

If they could give me something to dull the pain, I think it would make them feel better. If they could convince themselves that they are helping. Am I jaded, already? Haven’t I wanted to help before? But it’s a killswitch, I think. What did you _think_ it was supposed to do?

 

And needles don’t work on my skin anymore, anyway.

 

* * *

 

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like, if I woke up during the day.

And sometimes, I roll back over instead, and try to remember what it feels like to sleep.


End file.
